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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Moodd....Y?

Salam, 

Hai diri sendiri.

Apa yang ta kene?

Buat paper aka kertas?

Or paper aka artikel?

Apa masalah ko?
"Moody"

Bilamana otak dan minda bekerjasama xnak buat kerja yang sepatutnye kene buat.

Berikut adalah soal jawab hati dan otak bersoal jawab tanpa batasan.

Hati :Xde mouse nak buat kerja?
Otak : Alasan>takkan laptop xde tab yang bleh gune

xde laptop besa?
*alasan> dlu ko xde laptop langsung>ko boleh wat kije kat cc>skrg da ade kan?

xde meje beso?
*alasan>meje makan ade kan.

xde lampu putih?
*alasan>ade kat bilik kan?

xde makanan?
*menipu>ko da makan an td

xde air?
*alasan>pegi dapo minom la

xde ilmu?
PEGI CARILAH
INTERNET ADA
BUKU ADA
ORANG ADA

Internet xde?
Ada

Xde org bleh guide?
Tanyalah orang pakar / sv

Takut?
Sebab ape?takut salah?kalau salah jadi apa-apa k?

Ada fikir nak buat tapi xde action
Ape lagi BUAT LAH

muahahahaahahahahahaahahaaahahahaha
*gilo*

Wahai hati dan minda, silalah bekerjasama untuk melakukan apa yang perlu dibuat.

Rohani pon berkata : Banyak dosa ko buat ni kot, ilmu x bleh masuk kat tempat yang penuh dengan dosa, BERTAUBATLAH,
mohon pada Allah, PEMILIK SEGALA ILMU, PEMILIK SEGALA HATI, PEMILIK SEGALANYA.
agar dipermudahkan hati dan dilapangkan minda untuk melakukan sesuatu pekerjaan di dunia.

*hati dan minda = SENTAP

Ayuhlah bertaubat.

Moh.

12.27am suda.

Malam

Wasalam





Monday, October 10, 2016

Master complete Phd on the way

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Penyayang,

Its been a while i am writing in this blog.

Forgot the existence nowadays.

But suddenly my friend remind me about it.

Here i am. Writing.

Really.Its been a while. and now I am 28 years old.

Dont really feel that though.

Now. I am my 3rd semester of phd journey.

Ok.

I have completed my master formally last 2 years back on 2014.

Sharp on 31/12/2016 i've complete my correction and send it to graduate studies and successfully 

grad on October 2015.

However, there was a problem cause there is  a rule that if u want your transcript, u need to publish 1 paper at least.

I've been struggling doing it from my 2year of my master, and a lot of feedback and reject has been received.

And after submit it after 7th correction, and 7 month correction, got my answer where it was accepted for publication.

That's when the time I feel is the finalize step of my Master journey. I'm crying at toilet alone.seriously. That was the time, all your hardship pass-by like a picture one by one..


My samples

My workplace
(at this time, where I come early when people not come yet, and i go back my home so late when people already left, cause i'm doing my lab non stop)


First draft of my paper

At library, struggling for drafting a paper.

At this time, still fresh in my mind, 
where a thief come and take my wallet where i forgot and left it in my bag at storage room and i lost my money around Rm300
(which considered a lot )

But, everytime I'm struggling with hardship, I know Allah is very close to me, and always give me sign that Allah know what I've been through..

Data data data data



My thesis

After viva, 


Graduation



There u go.

The pictures. Each one of it, I still remember it clearly.

I found it master degree is the truly exposure of the how to face the real world that make u frustrated, stressed, meet new people, communication, make your own decision, make it through, eventhough u are not ready, just keep going, until u finished, when the end come, u will appreciate in a life time.

And yeah.comfort zone. out of that area.

And now, I'm facing the similar and much more challenging as u are own your own.

Independent.

And I'm still studying here and there.

Am still learning new thing.

am still learning, basic thing.

am still struggling as usual.

Pray for me.

Please.

Long way to go.

AllahuAkbar.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Student,

NFAR




Monday, May 4, 2015

Things I am grateful and things I wish to dissapear

.I have a house that I can stay
 My workplace is near with my house eventhough it takes 20 min to arrive there
 Start myday with the time that I want
I have my parent besides me
I am staying at home
 I have siblings
I have friends
I am normal
I am healthy
I have eyes
I can hear
I still breathing
I have nice and good friends
I have feelings
I have grandfather and grand mother (both sides)
I have money (eventhough it is not much)
I still can live
I Have happy family

Things I wish to dissapear:
My debts
My parent debt
High costing goods
High costing oil
My feelings to the other man
My feeling towards handsome man
My jelez feeling towards the others who have partners
my addiction to network
My worry to the future
My worry with change
My doubt towards my ability
My doubt towards the others
My doubt towards the future
My addiction towards insta, facebook, network
My imagination without an action
My hopeless feel without trying
My fear without trying
My hope from the human
My hurt feeling without spoken out
My deep feeling to others that dont even know about it
My laziness towards the future
My unawareness about the currect issues
My wish being healthy but no action taken
My trust that is not high enough for myself
My worry about the others highly than myself
My condition when people ask me to go out and I dont have enough money to spend
My unconcern about religious, other people
Feel afraid of teaching
afraid to challenge
afraid of a new thing
afraid of changes

Yeah.
Its full of thought today.
Coz i'm hungry.
I need to eat more than sleep.

Regards
NFAR




Thursday, April 2, 2015

Kemalangan

Salam sejahtera buat diri yang masih hidup dan bernyawa.

Allah Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang memberi diriku peluang untuk terus hidup di dunia ini.

Alhamdulillah.

Syukur.

Tanggal 2 April 2015, hari yang bersejarah yg boleh aku katakan dalam hidup aku sepanjang 27 tahun di dunia ini.

Allahuakbar. Allah yang Maha besar.

Tidak ku duga, di saat pulang daripada mengambil limau bali(sample),aku, driver dan rakan terlibat dalam kemalangan yang agak menggerunkan jiwa dan raga.

Jika hujan yang lebat, kejadian kemalangan sudah biasa didengari dalam media.ta dapat lari. pasti akan ada kemalangan yg berlaku.

Dan ini, Allah beri dugaan yang sangat besar buat diri dan rakan yang mengalami saat2 cemas tersebut.

Kereta hilux toyota yang dipandu driver, terlanggar divider dan kami berpusing sebnyk 2 kali di tengah2 highway di bernam jaya di km 401.4.

Allahuakbar.

Allah punya kuasa yang tiada tandingan.

Bila dikata "kun fayakun" maka jadilah ia.

Saat mencemaskan itu, seperti di alam mimpi tapi ia nya benar, dan aku sangat sedar apa yang sedang berlaku.

Kereta berpusing di tengah highway, bunyi shj sudah menggerunkan.

Nasib baik, kemalangan yang berlaku tidak melibatkan nyawa org,
 syukur, kereta tidak terbalik pergi ke lorong sebelah, syukur, kereta tidak terbalik menghenyak kereta lain, syukur, lori tidak terlibat sama..
alhamdulillah.

Masih terbayang kejadian tersebut di ingatanku.

dan terkadang ku menyalahkan diriku,
Disebabkan aku kah ini semua terjadi?
Takdir Allah, Rahsia Allah.

Tidak akan diketahui oleh sesiapa kecuali Dia.

Pernahkah kau terfikir akan mati?
Ya. Mati. Hakikat yang kita akan hadapi tetapi jarang kita amati.

Besok. kita tidak pasti bahwa kita masih hidup lagi,
Maka, laluilah hari ini tanpa kita kesali.

Allah ingin tegur aku dengan caranya tersendiri.

Dosaku semakin menggunung, tanpa aku pohon keampunanNya.

Allah Maha Besar.

Hati berbisik.
Allah.kau beri aku peluang untuk aku teruskan hidup?
Tidak ada perkataan yang boleh aku luahkan saat ini.
Allah lebih mengetahui.

Allah.
Allah
Allah.



Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Khas buat ko..Si Alyn isteri orang..kekeke



Senanye aku x bg ko adiah pape lg, 
mesti ko ta perasan an, 
patot aku x pyh kabo.miahahaha.
Ko taw kan, aku masih setudent tyme ko kawen, 
makanya fulus ta berapa nak ada,
sampai jumpe ko baru-baru ni pon, 
ko kene blanje,hak hak hak.

Patot aku nk balot elok-elok video ni bagi dalam CD pastu hias-hias kasi reben2 sket,
letak gamba panda sket...
tapi ta tecapai plop.
Sebab la ni..mane de org bagi CD dah, 
org bg tros pendrive..hakhakhak
itu pon aku x mampu nak bagi..

Sebabnya,
memori bersama ko,
x dpt nk ganti dengan apa2 pon,
ecewahhhh.
gile drama punye skrip kat atas ni.
miaahaha.

Tapi btol beb.ini series.
really miss the moment. 

Sementare tgu kewangan aku stabil sket,
nnt aku belanje ko, 
dtg tyme majlis aku nnt la..bwk satu kuarge.
hak hak hak

maka, 

tanpa berlengah masa, 

aku persembahkan satu-satunya video yang aku buat khas untuk ko..




sile msj aku bile da tengok.

kekeke.=)

caucincau.



Tuesday, June 10, 2014

14 blessings more

1. Today, I can use my father's car go to my workplace.
2. I have parents who are still alive and stay with me
3. I have brothers and still contact until now
4. I have a good health
5. I have realized that Allah hates Munafiq, its like u tell something u want to do it, but you not doing it.
6. I want to make things right
7. I try to stay positive
8. I can do what I want do.
9. Allah gives me reminder today
10. Allah always gives me strength especially on Tuesday.
11. Allah wants me to remind Him always
12. Allah sent me a helper today because I have wash my dishes completely today
13. Allah give me spent my time with my mother alone
14. I am still alive today
15.Allah,please give me courage to handle this life for this weeks and for the future.


11062014;0210am


Saturday, February 8, 2014

Hurt,Terluka

Salam Sejahtera,

Have you been hurt lately?

I am.

What?
Why?
How?

Generally, its about something you must do, and yet you do not know how to do it, and you are doing by yourselves without discuss with others who are knowledgeable than you.

Like research itself, 
you are doing research, 
you must ask people who have experience in that field,
if you dont,
you will be lost, 
and you don't have any idea what you are doing,
and you dont know whether it is right or wrong,
At the final, 
you will be complained, 
you will be ask, 
you will be questione with a lot of question,
and yet, you cannot answer it.
It will make you pride hurt, your heart hurt, your worries haunted you everytime you thinking about it,
Then, you will start to realize, why I dont ask others at the first place?
And yet, its too late to realize.

Similar situation when it comes to the order that has been given by Allah,
in life, 
we have already guided by Allah through Al-Quran, to do what we need to do,
and to avoid what Allah has prohibited.
you being hurt when people question you and you cannot answer it,
but yet its your fault, because you not ready at all in the first place.
have you ever imagine this situation with Allah ?
You dont do, not asking the people who is more knowledgeable and have much more experience living in this world with the way that Allah want we to.
We just ignored.
We are arrogant.
We always fail to satisfy what Allah want us to do.
We fail to pray on time.
We are not feeling any guilty when we do sins,
We pass by prayer like nothing 

Do you have ever feel what Allah feels about us when we let down Allah's hope to his slave?
He was hurt.
It is not a good thing when it comes to "hurt"
and yet

Allah is the Most Merciful, Yang Maha Berkuasa, Yang Maha Penyayang, Yang Maha Mengasihani, lagi Maha Pemurah,

di mana dia  masih memberi peluang pada kita untuk bertaubat, merintih pada Dia, kembali pada jalannya, 
sebelum kita dihantar ke tempat asal.

Ya Allah, 
Ampunkan dosaku ini, 
Sesungguhnya aku penuh dengan dosa,
Ku biarkan diriku bergelumang dengan dosa dalam keadaan kusedar,
Mohon ampunkanlah segala dosaku Ya Allah
Hanya Kau yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang.
Amin Ya Rabbal A'lamin..

Lihatlah sesuatu kejadian itu dengan pandangan mata hati,
sesunguhnya kita pasti dapat kaitkan dengan apa yang Allah cuba sampaikan,
Insya Allah, hati akan menjadi tenang.
Jauhi sakit hati dari manusia yang lain, 
Kerana sakit itu tidak menyenangkan.
Aku maafkan semua orang yang menyakitkan hatiku dalam sedar ataupun tidak.

Wasalam
0308am, Sabtu, 9 Feb 2014